I Thought I Lost You
by deeleigh
Summary: Spoliers for Pain in the Heart. Brennan's POV.


**This takes place sometime during The Pain in the Heart, I was sort of bored, and this is what came of it.**

**I know there are other things I should be doing right now, like studying for finals, and completing multiple projects and papers, and my other fic (Heart Ache in the Heat), but where's the fun in that?**

**I don't own anything, but if Fox wants to and his wife has no objections, I'll take David ;)**

_  
Don't know how I really feel  
To fake the days and make it like I don't care  
Don't know how much it hurts  
To turn around like you were never there  
Like somehow you could be the break  
And I could walk away from the promises we made  
And swore we'd never break  
I thought I'd never see your sweet face again  
I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went  
I kept the moments that we were in  
And I knew in my heart you'd come back for me, my friend  
And now I got you, but I thought I lost you_

-I thought I lost you, Miley Cyrus feat. John Travolta

I had never been so hurt in my life. You'd think that with all I have endured, it wouldn't hurt so badly. Three years is a long time for me. Three years of friendship, of trust, of laughter. Three years of joy. Bliss. Three whole years of my life is what it took me to realize I'd been lying to myself for more than fifteen years. It took me three years to understand that it was okay for me to break down sometimes, that it was alright for me to cry. It took three years of him convincing me, of so many things, that maybe there was more than the moment. That maybe, just maybe, there was love. And it took under an hour to rip out the comfortable foundation that I had built for myself. That we had built.

Shakespeare wrote in A Midsummer Night's Dream that "the course of true love never did run smooth; but either it was different in blood".

For once, we were able to joke around. To go out in public and act like normal people. That never happens to me. And the one chance I had, it was ripped from me.

I watched Booth fall to the ground, I watched the bullet kill the shooter, I saw my tears fall. I heard Booth's breathing become erratic. I don't know who called the paramedics. Maybe it was Sweets, maybe it was Hodgins. I didn't really care, as long as someone was calling.

They wouldn't let me ride with Booth. I needed to talk to the police. I gave my statement. They let me leave.

Once I arrived at Sibley Memorial, Angela told me that they had taken Booth into surgery. She said that the doctor said he'd be out ASAP.

Ange, Cam, Hodgins, Sweets, Zack and I sat in the waiting room for a countless amount of hours. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. When the doctor came into view, I stood. My hands started shaking harder.

Then he told me I should probably sit down. I said I was fine standing. Ange pulled me down into my chair.

Then I heard the most horrible words I ever heard.

"We did all we could."

Angela cried. Hodgins took her home. Zack and Sweets just sat there. They eventually asked me if I was alright. I was stationary. I just sat there. I had nothing to say.

Sweets called me a cab. I went home.

I cried until I fell asleep.

I went to work.

I told myself that life goes on.

My days were simple. Go to work. No cases; just Limbo. Go home. Shower, cry, sleep was seldom. Wake up, go to work, so on.

Then I had to go. They made me.

I saw Booth. I hit him, then I went home. And cried. Then I went to see him. I yelled.

Life went on. Trust was lost. Hearts were broken.

Then Gormogon happened; Zack happened.

Booth met me on the stairs. I cried. He let me.

He drove me home.

"Booth, can you come up with me. I don't know... if I can... be alone." I sounded so vulnerable. I hated it.

"Of course, Bones."

We got inside, he made coffee. Did you know Booth makes better coffee than Starbucks? He does, I swear. We sat in the couch for about twenty minutes before either of us spoke.

"You don't deserve this, Bones. You really don't."

I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed.

"You've had so much shit thrown at you. You don't deserve any of it. There is no reason that this should be so fucked up. Not for you."

"It's been a tough month."

"Bones, I am so sorry for everything that happened. I wish you had known what was going on. I promise to never leave you again."

Tears were blurring my vision. "I thought I lost you. I don't think I could do it again. It was the worst two weeks of my life." Booth took my hand in his and pushed a piece of hair behind me ear. His eyes said more than words ever could. He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed my palm.

"Here I am," he said. "Here we are."

"Here we are," I repeated as I once again lay down on his shoulder.

**Thanks for reading. Thanks even more if you review!**

**-Dakota :)**


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